Raise your hand if you’ve experienced infidelity. Now, raise your hand if you’ve experienced confidence issues as a result of infidelity. According to statistics, about 40% of unmarried relationships and 25% of marriages experience at least one incident of infidelity. When Sophia reached out about highlighting her business, I didn’t think twice about it. Unfortunately, I have experienced infidelity so it hit very close to home. When it happened to me, all I could think was where did I go wrong? I bent over backwards for this person and did everything for them. Even when I found out, I kept it from the people closest to me to protect him. I was hurting and falling apart, but no one knew.

I suspected something was up, don’t get me wrong. It was coming to terms after all the denial from him that something did happen that was the hardest part. It makes you think why you weren’t good enough and makes you question why they had to go elsewhere.

Sophia decided to become a confidence and Infidelity coach after working a career in finance where she felt like she wasn’t really making a difference. Sophia has also experienced infidelity and confidence issues herself and wanted to take her pain and the lessons she learned to help others. Today, she offers private consulting as well as workshops with the next one happening on March 15th.

Sophia shared with me her tips to the Top 8 Secrets to Confidence after Infidelity, which are:

1. Refocus on The PresentRestless, sleepless nights are common now that you know that the one you thought loved you has cheated on you. For some reason, a sense of guilt has started to creep in where you question the past and what you did wrong. These feelings will soon become exhausting along with the mixed emotions and pain you are feeling. Get out of your head and focus on being fully present. When you find yourself stuck in your head dwelling on the past, Breathe Deeply. Remind yourself that you are worthy of true love and refocus yourself on the present.
2. What Is Your Heart Telling You? If you find it hard to connect with your heart, start by becoming still with steady breathing. You may need to practice this a few times if this is new to you. Over time, you will find it much easier to feel what is right for you. If you have chosen to leave your partner or stay, connect with your heart and always do what feels right to you.
3. Healthy Limits Boundaries are a must! What happened in your past has nothing to do with what will happen in your future relationships. Write a list of 10 or more boundaries that are non-negotiable. When you spend the time writing this list, make sure you know the “why” behind every boundary you create.
4. Self-Care Never give up on taking care of yourself. You are number one and your mental, physical, and spiritual health depend on it. Take baby steps toward implementing a routine into your week that supports your overall well-being. Make sure it will work with your lifestyle.
5. Live Light and Laugh Get your daily laugh on. Get out of the house and have a girl’s night out with friends that are supportive, funny, and non-judgmental. Laughter is medicine, and it will improve your emotional state after finding out such shocking news. If you don’t have a support system around you, watch something funny DAILY. Relax your whole body with laughter.
6. Forgiveness This can be the hardest step to take. Holding onto hate, negativity, and grudges will only keep your heart closed and not open to future love. Pay attention and observe if you have any of these ugly emotions hanging around 8-12 months after a breakup. It would be an obvious sign that you are far from getting over what has happened to you. Start making it a point to send out positive affirmations of forgiveness to the nameless one that has hurt you daily.
7. New BFF Get a journal ASAP! You may not want to share things with friends or family so a journal is a perfect way to clear your mind. If you write daily for at least 20 minutes or more, you will find clarity and facilitate self-reflection.
8. See Your Beauty YOU, my friend, are an amazing woman. Please don’t let this relationship hinder your self-worth. You are fully worthy of true love and when the time is right, you will find what you need and more in a partner. See the beauty that looks back at you in the mirror each day and smile back at yourself.

To contact Sophia about her Confidence and Infidelity coaching services, or to register for her workshop you can visit her website or message her on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn.