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What They’re Really Doing: A Guide To The Language Of Modern Dating

What They’re Really Doing: A Guide To The Language Of Modern Dating

Today’s dating culture is harder than previous generations because we are surrounded in a world full of dating apps and instant gratification and “finding the next best thing.” When it comes to dating, I’ve experienced it all. I’ve dated guys who want a relationship and say they’re not ready but in all actuality, they just don’t want one with you, guys who think you’re the perfect hookup but not dating material, guys who think you’re not perfect enough, guys who think you’re trying to settle down asap and freak out but you’re actually in no rush…you name it. Millennials have created plenty of words to describe things that people do during modern dating and I have put them together for you.

Hookup: This is probably the most common of all. The person wants the sexual benefits of the relationship without committing to you. Some people are able to successfully avoid feelings with a consistent hookup, but any normal human catches feelings.

Catching Feelings: When you’re hooking up with a person and realize that you like more things about them than just sex.

Haunting: What does it mean to haunt you? The person you either dated or had a hookup with will literally stalk your social media until the end of time. Do they watch every IG story you post and Snapchat stories but don’t talk to you? That is haunting. They are keeping up with what you’re doing but have absolutely no desire to talk to you. (I have a couple of guys I’ve dated that do this, we notice!)

Breadcrumbing: I have had guys I used to date text me out of nowhere and show interest that maybe they want to try things again and suggest a date, but they never follow through and fall off the face of the earth again. This ladies and gentleman is called breadcrumbing. They get your hopes up and then bam, they’re out of the picture once again. I literally had this happen a few months ago where we planned to meet up and then I was stood up with no text saying he wasn’t going to come.

Cuffing/Uncuffing Season: Cuffing season is when you commit to someone during the holidays to do all of the cute couple stuff with. When you uncuff them, you dump them for summer fun.

DTR: Define the Relationship. One thing that Millenials are terrified of is labels. The “what are we” conversation is never a fun one to have, especially if one person wants to still have fun and the other has caught feelings.

Firedooring: A one-sided relationship. Fire escapes only open from one side and that’s your relationship. A person that is firedooring might ignore your texts, but will contact you if they want something (ie. bootycall).

Ghosting: This is the coward’s way of ending something with a person. Ghosting is when you’re cut off of all channels of communication with no warning. Honestly guys, grow up. In my first serious relationship, the guy broke up with me by canceling the relationship on facebook and ignored me when I asked what was going on. It can really mess with a person, so just be honest and don’t do it.

Pocketing: Does it feel like your relationship is a big secret? Has the person you’ve been dating not introduced you to friends, family or posted anything making it social media official? They could be keeping their options open and pocketing you and “putting you to the side.”

Submarining: Almost like ghosting, it’s when the person pops up again out of the blue acting like nothing ever happened, just like a submarine.

Slow fade: Someone who gradually loses contact with you. It’s a much softer blow, but you’re given some warning signs.

Zombieing: When your ex comes back from the grave and makes contact. Sometimes it’s just to say “hi,” but other times it’s to tell you they miss you and want to get back in your good graces again. Don’t fall for it. Literally every ex that has come back from the grave and has said they’ve “missed me” has gone back where they came from.

Have you experienced any of these? Comment your story below!

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